It's Getting Chili

Seriously though, it's cold out! And what better way to ward off the fall chill than with some Vegan Cincinnati Chili?

According to K, our resident Ohio expert, Cincinnati chili is characterized by A) lots of fragrant spices, like cinnamon and allspice, and B) being served either over spaghetti or in a hot dog bun. When I suggested adding beans, K gave me a look that clearly communicated that I'm a savage with no chili-related morals. Okay, no beans!

You'll need a Crock Pot for this recipe, and for life in general. My parents got me one for my birthday last year and I don't know how I lived without it. It makes this chili ludicrously easy to cook up - just dump the ingredients in, walk away, and come back to spicy, soupy goodness for dinner!

Vegan Cincinnati Chili
Veganized from Allrecipes

Serves 6

24 ounces soy crumbles (2 packages - I really like Yves Meatless Ground Round for the texture!)
1/4 cup chili powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground pepper
2 cups tomato sauce (a 15-ounce can)
1/2 cup tomato paste (a 6-ounce can)
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon steak sauce
3 cups water

Pour a little olive oil into a large saucepan, then add your soy crumbles and all the spices (chili powder, garlic powder, cinnamon, allspice, and salt). Over medium heat, mix this all together until the spices are evenly distributed and the soy crumbles hot and starting to get a tiny bit crispy. Don't overdo it! No one likes crunchy chili. You can also skip this step if you're in a rush.

So much chili powder, MM. 

Dump your spicy soy into your Crock Pot, then add the tomato sauce, tomato paste, vinegar, steak sauce, and water. Mix everything up really well, then set your Crock Pot on low and go do your thing for the next 12 hours. If you're like me and didn't manage to get your shit together in the morning, rest assured that 4 hours on high will also work fine.

Majestic.

The last step is to nom down! As noted above, you can eat this in a bowl with oyster crackers like a boring person (i.e. me), or you can pour your chili into a hot dog bun like a real Ohioan and load it up with diced onions, shredded vegan cheese, yellow mustard, and hot sauce. Enjoy!

Tastes best with super generic yellow mustard. 

How Do You Like Them Apples?

Pumpkins may steal the spotlight during these fall months, but you have to admit that apples are stars in their own right. So crisp! So juicy! I haven't made it apple-picking yet this year, but I certainly plan to before the season ends in a few short weeks. In the meantime, I've been enjoying trips to DC's beautiful Eastern Market, which is overflowing with apples just begging to be turned into Apple Crisp.

This sweet and crunchy dessert is basically the lazy woman's apple pie. I love me some pie, but that shit is a process. Rolling and chilling the dough, prepping the pie filling, and making sure your girlfriend doesn't eat all the crumble off the top...it all takes significant time and energy! Sometimes you just need an apple dessert in front of you right at this very second, and that's when this crisp comes in. If you have 30 minutes and the ability to slice apples, you can flawlessly execute this recipe. Try it for yourself and see!

Apple Crisp
From the genius mind of my wonderful mother

Makes one 8x8 pan

4 cups peeled and sliced apples (slightly sour Granny Smiths are the best)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 cup Earth Balance, melted

Preheat your oven to 375 F, grease an 8x8 metal or glass pan, and dump your slices applies right in there. In a small bowl, stir together the granulated sugar and cinnamon until it looks like the dust at the bottom of a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Now sprinkle all that fragrant goodness evenly all over your apples.

Naked!

In a separate bowl, stir together the brown sugar and flour until it's more of less incorporated, then pour in the melted Earth Balance. This will be your topping! Get in there with your little paws and mix it up until it all starts to stick together.

Hey sweetie. 

Scoop up handfuls of the topping and squeeze it through your fingers over the baking pan, so that it creates fat crumbles that fall on top of your sweet, cinnamony apples. By the time you're done, you'll barely be able to see any hint of fruit - don't worry, I promise it won't be as sweet as you think.

I swear there are apples in there. 

Pop the pan in the oven for 25-28 minutes, until the topping is a dark golden brown and the juices from the apples are starting to bubble. Wait for 5-10 minutes before chowing down so that the crisp has a chance to set a little bit, but definitely serve warm. Enjoy!

Pumpkin Cuffins

Well, it's officially October, which means I'm going to make pumpkin-flavored everything and refuse to feel even a little bit guilty about it! First up: Pumpkin Cuffins.

You know...not really cupcakes, not really muffins. Cuffins. You can also call them muffcakes, if you're feeling wildly inappropriate on this fine autumn day.

Okay, semantics aside - these are delicious! They're super soft and fluffy, and the sweet frosting perfectly complements the pumpkin and spices in the cake. I made mini versions of these cuffins for K's family last year (after an often-ridiculed attempt at chocolate chip cookies that turned out a little more crispy than anticipated), and was notified that "these cupcakes are a hit!" by her 6-year old niece. There truly is no higher praise.

Pumpkin Cuffins
Adapted from Hell Yeah It's Vegan

Makes 12 cuffins

1¼ cup pumpkin puree
½ cup brown sugar
¼ cup maple syrup
¼ coconut oil, melted
¼ cup soy milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp cloves
¼ tsp nutmeg
1½ cup flour
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt

1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
2 tablespoons soy milk

Preheat your oven to 350 F and line a regular-sized muffin tin with paper liners. Grab a large mixing bowl and stir together the pumpkin puree, brown sugar, maple syrup, coconut oil, soy milk, and vanilla until it's super smooth.

Super appetizing, yes?

In a separate small bowl, whisk together the spices (cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg), as well as the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Slowly shake the dry ingredients into the bigger bowl, stirring just until everything is evenly incorporated.

Baaaaaatter up!

Use a big spoon to fill each muffin cup up almost to the top - the cuffins will rise a little bit while they bake, but I promise they won't explode into pumpkin bombs. Place the tin in the oven and bake for 23-25 minutes, until a toothpick stuck into the center of a sacrificial cuffin comes out clean.

There were originally 12 cuffins...

To make the frosting, just whisk together the powdered sugar, coconoit oil, and soy milk until it's nice and thick, then spread liberally over each little pumpkiny treat. Let your cuffins cool completely before you frost them, or you'll have a giant mess on your hands. Enjoy!