Bounce With Me

Thanksgiving is so soon, guys!! I'm celebrating by having friends over for Friendsgiving, and also by sharing holiday recipes with you all so that you can feed the vegans at your table next week. First up: Cranberry Sauce!

Homemade cranberry sauce meets all three of my criteria for a holiday recipe: delicious, easy, and cheap. This whole process will cost $4, take 20 minutes, and result in a large bowl of tangy, fragrant cranberry sauce for all your Tofurky needs.

I love this shit but goddamn, it looks like a football filled with stuffing. Ah well - onto the recipe!

Cranberry Sauce
From my mama's kitchen

Makes about 2 cups of cranberry sauce

1 cup water
1 cup granulated sugar
12 ounces of fresh cranberries
1 orange, sectioned and chopped into small pieces
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

First, check to make sure your cranberries are ripe. This is critical because it will help you understand the stupid pun in the title of this post, and also because I accidentally made my first attempt at this sauce with bad cranberries and my kitchen smelled like burning plastic. So. Rinse your berries well, then pick out any that are light green (these aren't ripe yet and will taste really bitter) and any that look a little mushy (these are going bad and will, surprisingly, taste like rotten berries). If in doubt, take the questionable cranberry and toss it onto your countertop. A ripe berry will - wait for it - bounce, while an overripe one will not. GET IT??

Bouncy berries.

Pour the water and sugar into a medium saucepan and put it on the stove over medium-high heat. Once it starts to boil, dump in your cranberries. After about a minute, they're going to start popping and foaming like crazy. Don't panic! This is fine. Once the popping subsides, add the chopped orange, cinnamon, and nutmeg, then lower the heat so that this sticky mess is just simmering.

Merrily crackling away.

Let the sauce do its thing for 10 more minutes, then turn off the heat and let it cool for at least 30 minutes before you transfer it into a Tupperware or jar for storage. It's going to be really runny while it's hot, but it'll thicken up nicely once it cools down.

I didn't have a spare Tofurky to try this batch out, but the heaping spoon of cranberry sauce I had in my morning oatmeal was pretty delicious. Enjoy!

Warm Those Frozen Bones

Did you guys know that the "bomb cyclone" is apparently a thing? A thing that is due to bring horrendously cold weather and general misery to large parts of our fair country next week. UGH. I feel like winter just ended and I'm 100% not ready to face another several months of frozen toes. Luckily, today's Tortilla Soup is a perfect remedy to darkness and freezing rain!

The only thing better than the warm, complex flavors of this soup is how easy it is to make. While it does require a bit of chopping, there's nothing tricky about the recipe and it only takes about 30 minutes to come together. Toppings aren't just advisable here - they're pretty much mandatory. Customize your bowl with lots of goodies and pretend you're somewhere sunny and warm, far from a world where below-freezing temperatures exist!

Tortilla Soup
Adapted from Minimalist Baker and Oh She Glows

Serves 6

For the soup:
4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1/2 onion, diced
2 tablespoons cumin
1 tablespoon chili powder
2 Anaheim peppers, chopped (you can also sub 1 bell pepper here!)
1 jalapeno, chopped
12 ounces tomato paste
1 cup salsa
2 cups vegetable broth
2 cups water
1 cup corn
2 cans black beans, drained
1 avocado, cut into cubes
olive oil to coat your pot
salt and pepper to taste

For the garnish:
chopped cilantro
avocado slices
tortilla chips
lime juice
crushed red pepper
plain coconut milk yogurt

Pour a little olive oil into a large pot over medium heat, and toss in the garlic and onion. Toast these smelly little guys up until the onion starts to turn translucent - make sure you don't crank up the heat too high so that the garlic doesn't burn. Add the cumin and chili powder, stir for 30 seconds so that the spices all stick to those garlicky onions, then add the Anaheim peppers and the jalapeno and saute for another 2 minutes.

Add the tomato paste and stir until it evenly coats all your veggies, then pour in the salsa, veggie broth, and water. Turn the heat up a little bit to medium-high and cover the pot so that your soup comes to a rolling boil. In the meantime, prep your garnishes!

A study in green.

Once the soup is boiling, toss in the corn and black beans. Lower the heat to medium again and let all this simmer for 5 minutes. Do a quick taste test on a piece of Anaheim pepper - it should be nice and soft. Add salt and pepper to your little heart's desire. Once you're satisfied with your soup's spice level, throw in the cubed avocado, turn off the heat, and cover the pot until you're ready to eat. Pile on the cilantro, avocado, tortilla chips, lime, red pepper, and yogurt, and enjoy this hearty, warming meal!

Whip It Real Good

Apologies for the radio silence! Between running the Marine Corps Marathon and officially entering my late 20s, it's been a busy couple of weeks. Now that life has calmed down again, I want to make it up to you all with homemade hummus!

Can I tell you how long I've wanted to make my own hummus? My mom has been doing this for years and it's unfair how delicious it is - my family can inhale an entire bowl within minutes. The key to super smooth hummus, however, is having a food processor that can whip your tahini and chickpeas up to a light, fluffy cream. This critical kitchen gadget has finally entered my life, courtesy of a birthday gift from my lovely parents, and this is how I felt:

You said it, Ellen Page, you beautiful Canadian. The first thing I made was this amazing batch of hummus to have with our Saturday morning bagels, and I can safely say I will never need to buy pre-made hummus again. Check out the photos below, assemble your food processor, and head over to Inspired Taste for the recipe!

Tahini and lemon juice... 

...plus chickpeas... 

...equal a beautiful brunch. 

It's Getting Chili

Seriously though, it's cold out! And what better way to ward off the fall chill than with some Vegan Cincinnati Chili?

According to K, our resident Ohio expert, Cincinnati chili is characterized by A) lots of fragrant spices, like cinnamon and allspice, and B) being served either over spaghetti or in a hot dog bun. When I suggested adding beans, K gave me a look that clearly communicated that I'm a savage with no chili-related morals. Okay, no beans!

You'll need a Crock Pot for this recipe, and for life in general. My parents got me one for my birthday last year and I don't know how I lived without it. It makes this chili ludicrously easy to cook up - just dump the ingredients in, walk away, and come back to spicy, soupy goodness for dinner!

Vegan Cincinnati Chili
Veganized from Allrecipes

Serves 6

24 ounces soy crumbles (2 packages - I really like Yves Meatless Ground Round for the texture!)
1/4 cup chili powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground pepper
2 cups tomato sauce (a 15-ounce can)
1/2 cup tomato paste (a 6-ounce can)
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon steak sauce
3 cups water

Pour a little olive oil into a large saucepan, then add your soy crumbles and all the spices (chili powder, garlic powder, cinnamon, allspice, and salt). Over medium heat, mix this all together until the spices are evenly distributed and the soy crumbles hot and starting to get a tiny bit crispy. Don't overdo it! No one likes crunchy chili. You can also skip this step if you're in a rush.

So much chili powder, MM. 

Dump your spicy soy into your Crock Pot, then add the tomato sauce, tomato paste, vinegar, steak sauce, and water. Mix everything up really well, then set your Crock Pot on low and go do your thing for the next 12 hours. If you're like me and didn't manage to get your shit together in the morning, rest assured that 4 hours on high will also work fine.

Majestic.

The last step is to nom down! As noted above, you can eat this in a bowl with oyster crackers like a boring person (i.e. me), or you can pour your chili into a hot dog bun like a real Ohioan and load it up with diced onions, shredded vegan cheese, yellow mustard, and hot sauce. Enjoy!

Tastes best with super generic yellow mustard. 

How Do You Like Them Apples?

Pumpkins may steal the spotlight during these fall months, but you have to admit that apples are stars in their own right. So crisp! So juicy! I haven't made it apple-picking yet this year, but I certainly plan to before the season ends in a few short weeks. In the meantime, I've been enjoying trips to DC's beautiful Eastern Market, which is overflowing with apples just begging to be turned into Apple Crisp.

This sweet and crunchy dessert is basically the lazy woman's apple pie. I love me some pie, but that shit is a process. Rolling and chilling the dough, prepping the pie filling, and making sure your girlfriend doesn't eat all the crumble off the top...it all takes significant time and energy! Sometimes you just need an apple dessert in front of you right at this very second, and that's when this crisp comes in. If you have 30 minutes and the ability to slice apples, you can flawlessly execute this recipe. Try it for yourself and see!

Apple Crisp
From the genius mind of my wonderful mother

Makes one 8x8 pan

4 cups peeled and sliced apples (slightly sour Granny Smiths are the best)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 cup Earth Balance, melted

Preheat your oven to 375 F, grease an 8x8 metal or glass pan, and dump your slices applies right in there. In a small bowl, stir together the granulated sugar and cinnamon until it looks like the dust at the bottom of a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Now sprinkle all that fragrant goodness evenly all over your apples.

Naked!

In a separate bowl, stir together the brown sugar and flour until it's more of less incorporated, then pour in the melted Earth Balance. This will be your topping! Get in there with your little paws and mix it up until it all starts to stick together.

Hey sweetie. 

Scoop up handfuls of the topping and squeeze it through your fingers over the baking pan, so that it creates fat crumbles that fall on top of your sweet, cinnamony apples. By the time you're done, you'll barely be able to see any hint of fruit - don't worry, I promise it won't be as sweet as you think.

I swear there are apples in there. 

Pop the pan in the oven for 25-28 minutes, until the topping is a dark golden brown and the juices from the apples are starting to bubble. Wait for 5-10 minutes before chowing down so that the crisp has a chance to set a little bit, but definitely serve warm. Enjoy!

Pumpkin Cuffins

Well, it's officially October, which means I'm going to make pumpkin-flavored everything and refuse to feel even a little bit guilty about it! First up: Pumpkin Cuffins.

You know...not really cupcakes, not really muffins. Cuffins. You can also call them muffcakes, if you're feeling wildly inappropriate on this fine autumn day.

Okay, semantics aside - these are delicious! They're super soft and fluffy, and the sweet frosting perfectly complements the pumpkin and spices in the cake. I made mini versions of these cuffins for K's family last year (after an often-ridiculed attempt at chocolate chip cookies that turned out a little more crispy than anticipated), and was notified that "these cupcakes are a hit!" by her 6-year old niece. There truly is no higher praise.

Pumpkin Cuffins
Adapted from Hell Yeah It's Vegan

Makes 12 cuffins

1¼ cup pumpkin puree
½ cup brown sugar
¼ cup maple syrup
¼ coconut oil, melted
¼ cup soy milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp cloves
¼ tsp nutmeg
1½ cup flour
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
¼ tsp salt

1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
2 tablespoons soy milk

Preheat your oven to 350 F and line a regular-sized muffin tin with paper liners. Grab a large mixing bowl and stir together the pumpkin puree, brown sugar, maple syrup, coconut oil, soy milk, and vanilla until it's super smooth.

Super appetizing, yes?

In a separate small bowl, whisk together the spices (cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg), as well as the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Slowly shake the dry ingredients into the bigger bowl, stirring just until everything is evenly incorporated.

Baaaaaatter up!

Use a big spoon to fill each muffin cup up almost to the top - the cuffins will rise a little bit while they bake, but I promise they won't explode into pumpkin bombs. Place the tin in the oven and bake for 23-25 minutes, until a toothpick stuck into the center of a sacrificial cuffin comes out clean.

There were originally 12 cuffins...

To make the frosting, just whisk together the powdered sugar, coconoit oil, and soy milk until it's nice and thick, then spread liberally over each little pumpkiny treat. Let your cuffins cool completely before you frost them, or you'll have a giant mess on your hands. Enjoy!

Wok and Roll

For some reason, I've spent the past couple of months refusing to buy corn starch. I don't have any particular moral objection towards this powdery stuff - it's just that it comes in big boxes and you never need more than a couple of tablespoons and I didn't see the point. I finally ended up caving when I came across today's recipe for Kung Pao Sauce, and I'm so glad I did!

This sauce is incredible - the flavors are amazingly complex, the texture is thick and smooth, and the whole thing just soaks right up into any veggies you happen to throw into it. My sister just moved to DC and has access to a functional kitchen for the first time in years, so obviously we spent a good portion of her first weekend in town cooking up delicious noms.

The beginning of greatness. 

I need more cowbell chilies.

This lovely recipe comes to you courtesy of The View from Great Island - my only regret is that I neglected to account for the fact that my sister and K are two of the most spice-obsessed people I know, so this wasn't nearly enough heat for their seared-off tastebuds. Adjust accordingly and enjoy!

Ducks in a row. 

Two cutting boards for twice the fun.