Pucker Up

When I was a kid, my dad used to come home from work everyday for lunch, cut up a metric ton of of fruit - peaches, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, whatever he could get his hands on - and make smoothies for me and my sister. California isn't a terrible place to live if you like fresh produce, so these frozen treats were goddamn delicious and packed with the sorts of vitamins that small humans usually hate...win-win. Now I don't need quite as much convincing, but this Cherry Smoothie still hits the spot!

The vibrant colors in this smoothie = so. many. vitamins. Cherries are packed with Vitamin A, bananas are loaded with potassium, and blueberries have a bunch of cool antioxidants that studies have shown can improve your memory. This tangy smoothie will provide you with an impressive amount of everyone's best friend, dietary fiber.

A word to the wise: not all cherries are made equal. And by that I mean that some are delightfully tart while others are so sour they'll make your face implode. If you end up with the latter, just add a little brown sugar to the mix to mellow things out!

Cherry Smoothie
Inspired by Averie Cooks and Natasha's Kitchen

Makes 2 giant smoothies

1 banana
1 cup blueberries
1½ cups cherries
1 cup coconut milk (or soy/almond/rice/hemp/whatever!)
½ teaspoon vanilla
brown sugar, to taste

Carefully slice your cherries in half and remove the pits, then cut up your bananas into chunks. Toss everything, including the blueberries, into a big bowl and pop it in the freezer for about 2 hours. Freezing the fruit means that you can make your smoothie nice and frosty without adding ice cubes and watering down the fruit flavors!

Remove the bowl of fruit from the freezer and dump everything into a blender. Pour in the coconut milk and vanilla, then give it a whirl! You might have to pause a couple of times to scrape down the sides of the blender - use this as an opportunity to taste test and add sweetener as needed.

When you've reached optimal flavor and consistency, pour into 2 large glasses and enjoy!

Too Much Thyme

You know how when you buy herbs at the grocery store, they usually come in just ridiculously immense bushels? Like, when I am ever going to need a 3 pounds of mint or cilantro? The solution here is undoubtedly for me to start an herb garden so that I can just pick up a couple springs of rosemary or green onions when I need them, but in the meantime I have several fistfuls of thyme sitting on my counter so we're making Dark Chocolate Thyme Cookies.

Not that I'm mad, mind you! There's something deliciously sophisticated about these little gems. Maybe it's the rich dark chocolate, or the savory-sweet combo, or the delicate crumbly texture - regardless, making these will make you feel like a real adult. Or it'll make you annoy your girlfriend with lots of stupid thyme/time puns while you bake...it's a toss up.

These cookies are super quick and easy to make. You probably have all the ingredients in your pantry already, aside from the thyme (unless you're my mom and you have a beautiful garden full of herbs...hi Mom!), so there's really no excuse - grab your mixer and get to baking!

Dark Chocolate Thyme Cookies
Veganized from The View From Great Island

Makes 30 cookies

¾ cup Earth Balance
½ cup powdered sugar
½ cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 3/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons fresh thyme, finely chopped
½ cup semisweet chocolate chips

In a medium bowl, cream the Earth Balance, powdered sugar, and cocoa powder until they're super smooth, then add the vanilla and stir a couple more thymes (hee). This will all look a little liquidy, which is fine!

Butter, sugar, and chocolate - i.e. everything good and holy

Add the flour and mix just until it's nicely blended into the dough. Pour in the thyme and chocolate, stir to combine, and stick the whole bowl into your fridge for about an hour so the dough has a chance to firm up a little bit.

This is where the magic happens

Preheat the oven to 375 F and line a couple of cookies sheets with aluminum foil. Grab your dough and make little cookie balls - they should be more or less the size of a walnut. Space them out evenly on the cookie sheet and pop them in the oven for about 10 minutes, or until they're firm on the outside and have lost their squishy texture.

Thyme to bake these suckers

Once you take the cookies out of the oven, let them set on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before you transfer them to a wire rack/your mouth. Eat with pinkies up!

Spice Spice Baby

I think the beginning of DC's muggy summer is making me nostalgic for Southeast Asia, because curries, noodle soups, and stir fries have all been in particularly heavy rotation recently. While today's Spicy Peanut Butter Noodles are not what you'd call traditional Asian cuisine, they are a quick and tasty solution to hot nights when you don't feel like sweating over the stove for hours!

Peanut butter and Sriracha are both indisputably awesome in their own right, so it should come as no surprise that combining them makes them twice as nice. I like marinating my tofu/tempeh/seitan in the sauce while I prep my vegetables, which infuses each little nugget with spicy, nutty flavor.

Feel free to go crazy with your vegetables here; my go-to combination includes broccoli, bell peppers, baby corn, and bamboo shoots (because apparently I love alliteration?), but mix and match to your heart's content. Just stir fry those suckers up with a little sesame oil and soy sauce - the sauce is super flavorful, so you're not going to need too much seasoning on the veggies.

Spicy Peanut Butter Noodles
(adapted from Kalyn's Kitchen)

Serves 4

For the sauce:
2 tablespoons vegetable stock
3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 garlic clove, thinly sliced
3 tablespoons peanut butter (the hippie natural kind with no added sugar is best here!)
2 tablespoons Sriracha
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 green chili, thinly sliced

1 pound of your favorite meat substitute (I used tempeh but extra firm tofu or seitan are also delicious)
1 pound of noodles (rice noodles, soba, udon - whatever you have on hand!)

In a medium bowl, combine all of the ingredients for the sauce. Get aggressive with your whisk if the peanut butter is clumpy - you want everything to be nice and smooth. Slice up your fake meat into bite-sized pieces and toss them into the spicy sauce bath to marinate.

In the meantime, chop up your veggies and sauté them for 3-5 minutes in a large saucepan or wok. Once they're done - tender but not limp - cover the pan with a lid and set aside until you're ready to eat.

Set a large pot of water on the stove to boil for the noodles. While you wait, heat a little bit of sesame oil in a medium pan, then use a slotted spoon to fish your tempeh pieces out of the sauce and carefully set them on the skillet. Keep the heat on medium-low and flip your non-meat frequently! The sugar in the sauce will burn quickly if you wander off. Your tempeh will be done when the sauce has thickened up and started to bubble - take the pan off the heat and cover, just like you did with the veggies.

Last step! Cook your noodles according to the instructions on the package - this should only take a couple of minutes. Once they're done, drain the noodles over the sink and throw them back into the empty pot. Pour in the remaining sauce, then toss with a pair of tongs until the noodles are evenly coating with spicy peanut butter goodness.

To serve, just throw the saucy noodles onto a plate, pile on a scoop of veggies, and top with tempeh. Garnish with sliced green onions, extra Sriracha, and voila - a fancy, delicious dinner in 30 minutes or less!

Musing on Melted Cheese

Friends, I have a story for you. A story of Pride...and shame.

Last year, I went to DC's Pride Festival with my girlfriend and several of her friends. As the afternoon wore on, I began approaching that fine line between "I could eat" and "HANGRY". One member of our group was snacking on some pretty questionable nachos and my ladyfriend, helpful as ever, assured me that they were probably vegan because there's no way there was any actual cheese or milk in that neon goop. In my slightly inebriated state, I believed her and promptly helped myself to a big bite of hot, plasticky nacho cheese.

Shame. Immediate shame and judgement from everyone around me. I still haven't lived this down, and continue to get tormented with this story on a regular basis. Well, DC Pride is this weekend, and this time I'm going to be prepared with a big batch of Vegan Nacho Cheese in order to stave off similar mishaps and avoid further alienating my friends and loved ones!

Like real nacho cheese, this dip is smooth, creamy, and delicious on your favorite kind of tortilla chip - I alternated between Spicy Chili and Salsa Verde chips, both of which were incredible. Unlike real nacho cheese, this dip is made of actual food and contains no plastic.

I can't imagine improving upon the sheer perfection of this recipe from the fine folks at Minimal Eats, so take a break from mainlining Orange is the New Black and head on over to their blog for ingredients and instructions!