Not-So-Krabby Patties

Okay, let's talk about veggie burgers for a sec. Veggie burgers can be delicious and flavorful and full of nice things like beans and grains, or they can be horrendous processed little frisbees that are dry and crumby and blerhgh. Since we have a solid month of summer and grilling left this year, do your mouth a favor - skip the cardboard crap and try out these amazing Black Bean Burgers instead!

I'm actually surprised that we managed to capture photographic evidence of this nomtastic burger, because I  inhaled it within 5 minutes flat. It's super flavorful, and leaving half of the black beans whole and coating the outside of the patty with quinoa gives it a really great texture. The recipe looks a little complicated, but it's actually much easier than I expected - I'm going to make a big batch of these soon and freeze them, so that I have a quick and tasty meal on hand for busy weeknights. Or just so I can do this after my next long run:

Black Bean Burgers

adapted from the always incredible Love & Lemons

Makes 4 patties

½ onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed 

¼ cup cashews, soaked for at least 4 hours
¼ cup grated carrot

1 tablespoon steak sauce

2 tablespoons Sriracha (for a more mellow burger, substitute with 1 tablespoon ketchup and 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar)

2 teaspoons cumin

1 teaspoon cayenne

½ teaspoon mustard
¾ cup cooked quinoa
olive oil, to coat your pan and drizzle over the patties

salt and pepper, to taste

Toss the onion and garlic, along with a little bit of olive oil, into a pan set over medium heat. Cook these up until the onions are translucent and everything smells nice and garlicky. Add 1/2 cup of the black beans, the cashews, the grated carrots, and all your sauces and spices into the pan as well, and saute for about 3 minutes, until everything is heated through and the beans are getting pretty soft. 

Turn off the heat and let this mixture cool for a few minutes. In the meantime, grab a bowl and mix together the remaining 1/2 cup of black beans and 1/2 cup of the cooked quinoa. Take the rest of the quinoa and spread it out over a small plate - you'll need this for the last step!

Throw all the deliciousness you've cooked up in the saucepan into a blender or food processor. Whip it around until it comes together into a big mushy ball, stopping to scrape down the sides of your blender a couple of times to catch those errant beans. The mixture doesn't have to be completely smooth, but it should be fairly blended up and unappealing at this point (hence the lack of photos).

Dump the contents of your blender into the bowl of black beans and quinoa, and gently fold until everything is evenly distributed. Feel free to taste test the mixture and add salt and pepper as needed. Now for the fun part! Divide the patty mixture into four little balls, then roll each ball around in the plate of quinoa you set aside earlier. Once it's completely coated, smoosh it down with your hands to form a patty and set it on a plate. When you're done with all four patties, stick the plate into the fridge for half an hour to let everything cool down and set up. In the meantime, you can clean up and prep your burger fixings!

Preheat your oven to 400 F and line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Gently slide your patties onto the sheet and stick them in the oven for about 10 minutes. Then take them out, carefully flip them, and bake for another 15 minutes, or until the top of the patties feel dry and non-squishy. Toast your buns, slather on the ketchup and mustard, and enjoy!

Pucker Up

When I was a kid, my dad used to come home from work everyday for lunch, cut up a metric ton of of fruit - peaches, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, whatever he could get his hands on - and make smoothies for me and my sister. California isn't a terrible place to live if you like fresh produce, so these frozen treats were goddamn delicious and packed with the sorts of vitamins that small humans usually hate...win-win. Now I don't need quite as much convincing, but this Cherry Smoothie still hits the spot!

The vibrant colors in this smoothie = so. many. vitamins. Cherries are packed with Vitamin A, bananas are loaded with potassium, and blueberries have a bunch of cool antioxidants that studies have shown can improve your memory. This tangy smoothie will provide you with an impressive amount of everyone's best friend, dietary fiber.

A word to the wise: not all cherries are made equal. And by that I mean that some are delightfully tart while others are so sour they'll make your face implode. If you end up with the latter, just add a little brown sugar to the mix to mellow things out!

Cherry Smoothie
Inspired by Averie Cooks and Natasha's Kitchen

Makes 2 giant smoothies

1 banana
1 cup blueberries
1½ cups cherries
1 cup coconut milk (or soy/almond/rice/hemp/whatever!)
½ teaspoon vanilla
brown sugar, to taste

Carefully slice your cherries in half and remove the pits, then cut up your bananas into chunks. Toss everything, including the blueberries, into a big bowl and pop it in the freezer for about 2 hours. Freezing the fruit means that you can make your smoothie nice and frosty without adding ice cubes and watering down the fruit flavors!

Remove the bowl of fruit from the freezer and dump everything into a blender. Pour in the coconut milk and vanilla, then give it a whirl! You might have to pause a couple of times to scrape down the sides of the blender - use this as an opportunity to taste test and add sweetener as needed.

When you've reached optimal flavor and consistency, pour into 2 large glasses and enjoy!

April Showers Bring...Chai Tea Ice Cream

This past January, I moved into a new house in a great neighborhood with awesome people. As the weather slowwwwly but surely gets better, we've been getting to enjoy one of the best features of this lovely place: an enclosed porch, complete with a grill, comfy patio furniture, and a view over the community dog park behind our house. All I want to do is sit out there and bask in the glory of spring, preferably while eating delicious warm weather treats, like the Chai Latte Ice Cream that I'm going to share with you lucky devils today.

Ice cream was one of those things I thought I'd miss as a vegan, but then I discovered coconut milk ice cream and I've never looked back. This recipe combines the fragrance of chai tea and five different spices with the smooth goodness of coconut milk and cashew cream, and the result is heavenly. Even the girlfriend - one of those mythical creatures who can eat a single Thin Mint and be satisfied - gave this the stamp of approval, so I'm going to go ahead and call it a success.

I very seriously considered buying an ice cream maker for the sole purpose of never running out of frozen treats this summer, but ultimately decided to hold off on adding a super specialized gadget to my kitchen for now. Luckily, I found instructions for several different ways to make ice cream without this contraption! If you do have an ice cream maker, crank that bad boy up and let it do its thing. If not, check out the recipe below for details on how to get by without one - all you need is a giant bowl and some serious forearm strength!

Chai Latte Ice Cream
recipe adapted from the brilliant folks at The Minimalist Baker; machine-free instructions are from David Lebovitz

Makes about 2 pints of ice cream.

1½ cups raw cashews
1 cup coconut milk
3 bags of chai tea
¼ cup coconut oil, melted
¼ cup maple syrup
¼ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon each of cinnamon and ginger
½ teaspoon each of ground cloves, allspice, and cardamom

You'll need a little prep time for this recipe; I recommend starting it the evening before you want to serve your ice cream. Start off by soaking your cashews. Just dump them in a bowl, pour in enough cold water so that they're all submerged, and leave them alone for at least 6 hours (overnight is fine, too). Now steep your tea in a mug of hot water for about 3 minutes - it's going to be ridiculously strong! - and leave it in the fridge until you're ready to use it. Finally, grab your largest bowl and put it in the freezer to chill. This will help your ice cream set once you pour it in.

Chai tea and cashew cream. And DIY coasters!

When you're ready to actually whip up your frosty dessert, you'll start by making cashew cream. Throw your soaked cashews (they'll be a little soft and kind of bland) into a food processor or blender, and puree them forever and ever. You should end up with something that looks a little bit like very thick, very pale peanut butter.

Add the coconut milk, coconut oil, brewed tea, maple syrup, sugar, vanilla, and spices to the blender and whirl everything around for at least 3 minutes, stopping every once in a while to scrape down the sides. Your "ice cream" is going to look a little gross at this point - picture a partially melted Frappucino and you'll have a good idea of what you're working with.

Starring: cinnamon.

When you're certain that every little clump of cashew has been demolished, pour the liquid into your pre-chilled bowl and stick it in the freezer. Now comes the hard part: waiting and mixing. Every 45 minutes or so, take your bowl out and whisk the mixture really vigorously for about 2 minutes, then put it back in the freezer while you go watch another episode of The Wire. At first, it'll still be pretty watery; the next time around, though, it'll have a pudding-like consistency, and after about 3 hours you'll be breaking a sweat trying to mix it properly.

Once your ice cream is sufficiently solid, transfer it into a tupperware container and let it sit in the freezer until you're ready to eat it. Or just, ya know...eat it. Add chocolate chips, because life is short. You can also try running your ice cream through the blender one more time before you serve it - this will get you a soft serve texture if that's more your cup of (chai) tea!