Bounce With Me

Thanksgiving is so soon, guys!! I'm celebrating by having friends over for Friendsgiving, and also by sharing holiday recipes with you all so that you can feed the vegans at your table next week. First up: Cranberry Sauce!

Homemade cranberry sauce meets all three of my criteria for a holiday recipe: delicious, easy, and cheap. This whole process will cost $4, take 20 minutes, and result in a large bowl of tangy, fragrant cranberry sauce for all your Tofurky needs.

I love this shit but goddamn, it looks like a football filled with stuffing. Ah well - onto the recipe!

Cranberry Sauce
From my mama's kitchen

Makes about 2 cups of cranberry sauce

1 cup water
1 cup granulated sugar
12 ounces of fresh cranberries
1 orange, sectioned and chopped into small pieces
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

First, check to make sure your cranberries are ripe. This is critical because it will help you understand the stupid pun in the title of this post, and also because I accidentally made my first attempt at this sauce with bad cranberries and my kitchen smelled like burning plastic. So. Rinse your berries well, then pick out any that are light green (these aren't ripe yet and will taste really bitter) and any that look a little mushy (these are going bad and will, surprisingly, taste like rotten berries). If in doubt, take the questionable cranberry and toss it onto your countertop. A ripe berry will - wait for it - bounce, while an overripe one will not. GET IT??

Bouncy berries.

Pour the water and sugar into a medium saucepan and put it on the stove over medium-high heat. Once it starts to boil, dump in your cranberries. After about a minute, they're going to start popping and foaming like crazy. Don't panic! This is fine. Once the popping subsides, add the chopped orange, cinnamon, and nutmeg, then lower the heat so that this sticky mess is just simmering.

Merrily crackling away.

Let the sauce do its thing for 10 more minutes, then turn off the heat and let it cool for at least 30 minutes before you transfer it into a Tupperware or jar for storage. It's going to be really runny while it's hot, but it'll thicken up nicely once it cools down.

I didn't have a spare Tofurky to try this batch out, but the heaping spoon of cranberry sauce I had in my morning oatmeal was pretty delicious. Enjoy!